3 second drummer.

Aren't identities interesting? How we identify someone. What we identify someone. Artist, nerd, the guy that always brings his lunch to work, ginger, critic, mathematician, radical, feminist, christian, mormon, atheist, muslim, the fire guy. I'm at least one of those but that isn't usually what I'm identified as or even what I identify myself as.

Today I had a meeting with a pastor. I play music and stuff and I wanted to play for them. As we were wrapping up our meeting he got a phone call. It was is sound tech supervisor that had already called him during our meeting so this time he answered."Hello? Hey whats up? Ya, I'm going to come in today, I am just finishing a meeting with a drummer."

I was thinking about it on my drive home. For a split 3 seconds, life was simplified to a point where I was just that. A drummer. This guy on the phone, that is all he knew me as. My single identity....Drummer.

I wonder why we find it necessary to always "find our identity". Its all you ever hear it seems. Maybe it would be nice if I took 3 seconds a day and simplify myself to one identity.

... I am Batman.

The valley of Shadows.

Deep valleys. Life is just full of them. Moments when you think "why am I doing this, why am I this way, why am I am?" Life just seems bland and pointless. It seems like emotion just drains from your face like throwing a bunch of paint on a freshly painted canvas. You can see color, you can see the things that make up the what once was a picture at least. But now it is just a mess.

This picture of slurred colors and mixed borders is the valley of shadows.

There are many things that make up the valley of shadows. Sometimes its deep depression. So deep in your chest its hard to breath. Sometimes in insecurity, so frail you shatter with the first step out the door. This is why I have been living the past year or so. This valley of shadows is a real crappy place to pitch your tent and start expanding in. You get by some days sure, intact Id say it is rather safe. But not today.

Today I realized what form this shadow land has taken for me. Self. Me. I've built a city here. With walls 1000ft feet high 10 miles wide with the thickets metals you can afford. I have let some in to my fortress. But some have been condemned to roam on their own. I have left some people out.

My friends I am sorry. I am called to be in this world and not of it. I am called to break my walls and not build them. This Valley of Shadows is no longer a lonely pilgrimage for you. I am here for you.